How do you start a business conversation? Especially if you're an introvert. We've got the answer for you on this edition of The Inside BS Show. Hey now, I'm Dave Lorenzo.

I'm the godfather of growth and I'm here with my partner Nikki G. Hi, Nicola. How are you today? Hi, Dave. I'm doing great.

How are you? I'm doing fantastic. Thank you. So we were just having an interesting dialogue about how to start a business conversation.

We have a lot of friends, Nicola and I, who are introverts. I don't know, Nicola, if you've ever been tested, but I've been tested and I'm clearly not an introvert. I've been tested for a number of things, but among them is not introversion.

So I am clearly an extrovert. I have no trouble talking to anyone at any time, but even I am intimidated and I find it a little awkward in a one-on-one situation to go up and introduce myself to people. So I've come up with ways to make that happen, scripts, positioning and scenarios that I put myself in that make it easier for me and that kind of give me an advantage and we'll share some of those today.

What about you? Do you ever have trouble striking up a conversation with someone, particularly a business conversation? Usually no, but if it's someone who I know, I really want to be able to strike up a conversation with. They're very high level of the company. I know that could be a great contact to me.

Yes. In that moment, I will really overthink it rather than just go with the natural ability that I have to talk to people. I think it's just I put the pressure on myself in those circumstances.

So I really have to think about what am I going to say when I walk up to that person. I never think that, but in those circumstances, I do. Let's talk about the elephant in the room here, right? For some people, it is easier to break the ice and people are more receptive to connect with you.

So for example, if you and I were at a party and I walk up to a CEO of a company, he's going to protect his wallet. If you walk up to the CEO at the company, he's going to look at you and he's going to go, well, hello, it's wonderful to see you. So there are some inherent advantages that some people have over others.

But after you get through that first point, you've got to have something to say or you're going to be dismissed regardless of who you are and regardless of how you look, which reminds me of a great interview that I saw, the New York Times did an interview series with Jerry Seinfeld. And they said, and this is just like a couple of years ago. And they said, you know, Jerry, you're doing stand up now.

It's got to be great. You walk up on stage and you could basically read from a magazine and you'd get a standing ovation because of who you are. And he said, that's not true.

He said, my reputation, my background and what I've done, it buys me the first minute, maybe two minutes. And I get the benefit of the doubt for that first minute, that first two minutes. But the minute I open my mouth and I start talking, I better have something funny to say or they're going to turn on me.

So for those of you who are out there and you're thinking to yourself, oh, geez, Nikki G, Nicola, she walks up to anybody. Anybody's going to be willing to talk to her. They're going to be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt for the first sentence that comes out of her mouth.

If she speaks gibberish, they are going to turn and walk away. So you need, regardless of who you are, where you're from, what you look like, you need to be able to strike up this conversation. So here are some guidelines.

Hey, Nikki G, did you know you can also get our show as an audio podcast? Of course I know you can get the show as an audio podcast. I'm on it. But does our audience? I don't know.

So those of you who are watching on YouTube, you can find us wherever you get your podcast. Just search up the Inside BS Show with The Godfather and Nikki G and you'll find us right there. Click the follow button so that you never miss a show.

Now, there's a couple of reasons why you're going to want to do that. Nikki G, tell them what the first reason is. You get to ask us questions that is exclusive to our podcast listeners.

Yeah, we only answer listener questions on the audio version of the podcast. We don't do it on video. So if you want to hear what everyone's thinking or if you want to ask us a question, you got to download the audio podcast.

The second reason and my favorite reason is because you can take us with you. You can have a little Nikki G in your pocket while you're working out in the gym, washing the dishes or walking the dog. I love me some Nikki G in my pocket when I'm walking the dogs.

I don't know about you, Nicola, but that's one of my favorite things to do. Absolutely. Take us with you.

After you watch this episode here on YouTube, go to wherever you get your podcast. Click the follow button so we can go with you on your journey and you can ask us questions. We will see you or more like hear you there.

It's the first thing that I'll tell you when you're striking up a business conversation with someone is think about points of commonality. So if you have done your research and you're approaching someone that, you know, think about something that you have in common with them. So if you're going to a networking event and you know, there's five people that are going to be in the room that are good contacts for you.

You have your background on all five of them, but only three of them are there. You know what your opener is going to be for the three of them. It's going to be what you have in common.

Here's an example. So right before COVID, I'm coming back from New York and I caught the last flight on a Thursday night from New York to Miami. And it just so happened that that year, the Super Bowl was in Miami.

Lucky enough, I was sitting in first class and the seat next to me is empty. After the entire plane finishes boarding, they're holding the plane. And sure enough, somebody walks on and sits down next to me.

I look over and it's CeCe Sabathia. He had just retired from the New York Yankees that year. I'm a huge Yankee fan.

My son's a huge Yankee fan. I'm a huge fan of CeCe Sabathia. So he sits next to me and the plane is backing away from the gate.

And I know I got three hours with this guy and I want to ask him a million questions, but I got to break the ice. I got to figure out a way to strike up a conversation with him. What am I going to do? Well, here's what I know about CeCe.

We're both dads and we both coach our kids. So I'm going to use the dad angle. So I turned to CeCe Sabathia and I said, hi, how's it going? And he looks at me and he goes like this.

And for those of you who are not watching, I'm slumping my shoulders and I'm sighing. He goes, and he's thinking to himself, this guy is going to talk to me for three hours and I'm not going to be able to handle it. So I said, can I ask you a question? And again, he kind of gives me side eye.

And I said, it's not what you think. I said, I know you coach your son. I just was coaching my son in a jujitsu tournament and I think I blew it.

And I'm wondering if you could give me some advice. All of a sudden, he perked up. He sits up, his eyes open wide.

And he said, tell me a little bit more about that. And I told him the whole story. And it's a true story.

Nick was in a tournament. Nick did mixed martial arts, which is Brazilian jujitsu and Kenpo karate. He was better at the Kenpo than he was at jujitsu.

And he only did jujitsu in this tournament. It was the first jujitsu tournament and he got crushed. He went like one in seven.

And I said, I don't think I gave him the best advice possible. And I started telling him about the advice I gave Nick. And he turns to me and he said, I had the same thing happen to me with my son.

He said he was playing basketball and he didn't do a good job. He was dogging it on the floor. He didn't get a good night's sleep the night before.

And he said, and I laid into him. And he said, that wasn't the right approach. He said, you know, here's what I think we both could have done better.

And after that little point in the conversation, he takes off. He was wearing a baseball cap. He takes off his baseball cap and he extends his hand and he goes, I'm CC.

I said, I know. And I said, I'm Dave. And we struck up this conversation.

It was the best three hours I've ever had on a plane. And we talked about, so eventually the conversation led to baseball. It led to the Astros cheating scandal.

He showed me how to break down pitches. He was showing me on his, on his phone, how he breaks down pitches, how he, uh, how he knows when people are tipping pitches. Uh, it was a phenomenal conversation, but it all started because I found the point of commonality because I knew this guy so well, I knew being a dad was a point of commonality to put a bow on that story, Nicola, as we were leaving the plane.

So we go to get off the plane. We're still talking while we're standing up to get off the plane. And he reaches up to get his bag in the overhead.

He's like, Hey, you got a bag up there? And I said, no, no, I said, I just have my, I just have my briefcase. We're getting off the plane. And he's talking to me over his shoulder as we're walking down the aisle of the plane to get off.

We walk by the flight deck and I feel a tap on my shoulder and I turn around and it's the pilot and CC keeps walking up the jet bridge and the pilot says, do you think I could get a picture with CC? And I go, I don't know. Why don't you go ask him? He's like, I thought you were his friend. I thought you were with him.

I said, I just met him here on the plane. That's how great it was. That's how, that's how fast we developed a relationship just from finding that point of commonality.

So if you want to start a business conversation with someone and you've done your research, find the point of commonality. Absolutely critical. Yeah.

So you know what? Let me, let me take this and take it and it's going a different direction here. So for those of you listening, if you don't have the opportunity to do your research in advance, but that person's in the room that you really want to speak with, you find a commonality based upon what you have been hearing in the room. Perhaps you overheard that potential contact say something that will be your common ground.

And if, and when all else fails, you can go back to that common experience that you've had at the event. I mean, that's kind of the default, but watch and listen and try to pick up on something where you'll find the way to go up to that person and have that common ground before you introduce yourself. Do not go up cold.

So, you know, what Dave described was having that plan well in advance when you know you'll be in front of that person. But if you're in a room, that person's there, develop the plan while you're in that room before you walk up and open your mouth, because you don't want to ruin that chance that you may only get once. So now I'll give you an example of this.

I went to a networking event. There is an executive on the business side of a massive company that happens to have a presence here in South Florida that I, I just said, I would love to do legal work for that company. I know I could do it.

That person's there, the person's a speaker at the event. Well, what happens when I first walk into the event is we happen to have kind of similar names, the long Italian last name, similar first name that gave me that person's name tag before giving me mine. And I went, Oh no, that's not me.

So as I'm like sitting through the event, I'm thinking that's my opener. I'm going to walk up to this person. I'm going to make the joke about the name tag and the name that they thought, you know, I was, Oh, did they try to give you my name tag? Cause they tried to give me yours.

Immediate laugh. But like Dave said, you've got 30 seconds to a minute for that opener to get the attention. And then you better lead into something else.

So while I was sitting there listening to the speaker present, I was already thinking about something that related to that topic so that I could say, look, this was excellent. Here's what I was thinking about when you were talking about X. Now I've made a connection on intellectual level about something that is important to that person's business. That person ended up being, and is a very good friend of mine.

And it led to, you know, an amazing opportunity to present in front of, you know, attorney for that company. So it just goes to show you those opportunities can happen and you don't have to already have that skillset. You can develop it.

You are giving you really the way to do that. Now you just have to be thoughtful about it so that when you get that chance, you can deliver on it. I think a second way to do this.

I love what you said there. I think that's a great point. And I love your, your name tag opener.

You can actually even engineer that if you wanted to, you could find somebody who has a name similar to yours and be like, Hey, did they give you my name tag? Because our names are a little familiar. Second way to do it is the, and this is an approach I love. It's the wingman approach, right? So you walk into a networking group.

And by the way, I am the best wingman. If you want to meet anybody at any event for the right fee, I will be your wingman and I will get you introduced to anybody in the room. What you do is you walk up to the person.

Like if I was the wingman for Nikki G, I would walk up to, I don't know, let's say the general counsel of DHL. And I would say, Hey, you're the general counsel of DHL. My name is Dave Lorenzo.

You got to meet my friend, Nicola Gellarmino. She's the best lawyer in town. You want to hear why? And he would say, what do you mean? Oh my gosh.

She had this great case and she did something so spectacular. You can't believe it. I don't know what you guys call it, but she did this and she did this and she did this.

Does that sound like somebody you want to meet? And he'd be like, well, yeah, maybe I do want to meet her. Oh, here she is right here, Nicola. I want you to meet.

I'm sorry. What did you say your name was? Boom. There's an introduction.

Nicola doesn't have to say anything about herself. He just has to, he's just going to look at her and he's going to go, well, your buddy here says you're really great. Tell me a little bit more about what you do.

And you're off to the races. It works like magic. The wingman approach is great.

And here's the thing. I would have Nicola do that for me to somebody else. And we would do that.

You can only get away with doing it two or three times in the same event. Otherwise people think you're like Abbott and Costello doing some routine work in the room, but you can do it two or three times in an event each way. And you get your contacts done and you have fun.

That's the thing. When you use the wingman approach lightheartedly, especially if you're two people who know each other well, no matter what happens, even if the person says you people are lunatics, you're going to have a good time together. It's going to give you a great story to tell regardless of what happens.

But nine and a half times out of 10, it's going to work great. What do you think, Nicola? Yeah, absolutely. And especially if you're someone, you're a little introverted or networking is tough for you, bring a wingman or wing woman.

You want someone who's there who can be able to have that dynamic with you, especially when you're introducing yourself to other people, like it's going to work. Like Dave said, only two or three times. You don't want to look like a side show, but you definitely want to look like you're having fun.

People want to be introduced to others who are having fun at those events. They're like, I want to be with that group. These two are laughing.

They're enjoying each other. Like those are the type of people I want to meet. It creates the environment for you inside of that room.

I love that. The final point I think we can make on this to help people out is if you don't have a wingman and you're uncomfortable getting into those conversations, go to the event organizer, right? The person who organizes the event, or at worst, the person sitting at the front table checking people in after they've checked everybody in. The people who put on these events, especially business events, they want everybody to get value out of the event.

These events are not there for people to be miserable. Go to that person and say, hey, I noticed on the list, Nicola Gellarmino is going to be here. Would you mind introducing me to her? Do you know her? Because I'd love an introduction because I don't want to walk up to her cold.

If the person sitting at the table or the event organizer doesn't know her, they will find somebody who knows her and introduce you to them so they can introduce you to her. Here's the thing. It's very, very simple.

Just look at the attorney list in advance. Figure out who you want to meet and ask somebody who works at the event organizing group to make the introduction for you. That's their job.

That's what they do. And it makes breaking the ice so much easier. What do you think, Nicola? Ah, killing it.

I've done this. I love it. It's such a great approach.

If you don't know somebody else, that person absolutely knows everyone in that room who is sitting there handing out the name tags. And if they don't, like you said, they know someone else who does, and they are willing to make that introduction. I've had it happen.

It has worked out very well, so don't be shy about it. Don't overuse it, but do not be shy about it. Ask.

They'll make the introduction. It's such a great way to get it done. A bonus tip for you if you're at an event where there's a speaker and you want to strike up a conversation with the speaker, I've seen the worst way to do it.

I see the worst way to do it quite often. People run up to me and start tackling me with questions. The best way to do it is to highlight something you liked about the speech, say a kind word, give a compliment, and then I am putty in your hands.

I will listen to anything you want to tell me and answer your questions because you were friendly and you said, you know, that point you made about X, Y, Z, it really resonated with me. I make that mistake all the time, and I'm going to take those tips and put them into action right away. If you start with that, I'm going to listen to whatever you say.

You're going to be able to talk to me about whatever you want to talk about. I probably won't buy anything from you, but if you want to follow up with me and email me, I will respond to your email because of the way you approached me. And that's the thing.

When it comes to approaching people who are the center of attention or people who are in a high profile position, the idea is just to remember that everybody's human and we all respond to the same things. Nobody responds well to hostility. Nobody responds well to surprise.

Nobody responds well to aggressive behavior, but everybody responds well to a kind word. Everybody responds well to a warm smile. Those are the things you should do if you want to strike up a business conversation.

My name is Dave Lorenzo. I'm the Godfather of Growth, and she is Nikki G. And we'll be right back here again tomorrow with another great edition of our show. Until then, here's hoping you make a great living and live a great life.

And Nicola, I didn't use the word troll all the time. We'll see you tomorrow, folks. Take care.