[Speaker 1]
Hey now, this is the Inside BS Show. Boy, do we have a good one for you today. This is a show that gives you all the inside business secrets.

I'm the godfather of growth. I'm here with my friend and partner, Nikki G. Good morning, Nicola.

How are you?

[Speaker 2]
Hey Dave, good morning. I'm great, how are you?

[Speaker 1]
I'm doing well, thanks. So you and I are sitting around, having a cup of coffee, and you told me a story that you need to tell the people who are listening and watching. So share that story with us now.

[Speaker 2]
At some point, most of us have received a referral from someone we know, we like, and we trust. And so we welcome the opportunity to engage with that person who they are putting us in contact with. Why?

Because they've developed that level of closeness with our relationship. And so we trust that they'll put us in contact with someone that will be a great partner for us from a business standpoint. So I received one of these referral connections and I had no idea it was coming.

Let me be clear. I had no idea that the introduction I was about to receive was coming my way. But it came from a trusted source.

And so I thought, okay, I'll take the meeting. So it turns out that the referral relationship that was being presented to me was not a partnership with another lawyer, which was what I initially thought it was. It was a partnership with a coach for lawyers.

So I took the meeting. After I took the meeting, I was receiving emails, messages, posts, you name it, just bombarded with materials trying to just get me to sign up to work with this person. So it was a hard sell is what it was.

Now, the part that I struggled with was I didn't know this was coming. I didn't know that this was something where I was being sold. It was presented to me as this would be a referral relationship when it came through.

So what I'd like to talk about, Dave, is what's a great way to pass a referral? We've talked about this before and it's important.

[Speaker 1]
Yeah. All right, listen up. So this reminds me of a story that I love to tell to people.

And it's one has an ending that you probably wouldn't expect. I'm sitting in a networking group and I'm frustrated. I'm aggravated.

I'm absolutely, quite frankly, pissed off that there is somebody who I'm basically sharing my seat with in this group. This woman has a business that's very similar to mine. It seems like she's targeting the same clients of mine.

And I'm not sure how we're going to coexist in this group. I've been a member of this group for a little over a year. This person just shows up and her goals, we met one-on-one, her goals seem to be almost identical to my goals.

And I'm not sure if this is gonna work out. And I'm thinking to myself, what do I do? Anybody that I would refer to her is probably gonna be a good client for me.

So how are the two of us going to make this work? Well, it turns out that this story is not only one that will help you understand what the point is, the entire issue that Nicola just raised, but it's one that taught me a lesson that I will keep with me for the rest of my life. And well, before I get into that, let me answer your question directly.

So if you are part of, there's a huge segment of people who listen to us who are part of the community that Nicola and I have built, Improvisers. You're part of the, as we stand here today, 8,500 people across the country who are part of this community. And this message is for you.

In addition, this message is for, and by the way, lawyers are notoriously bad at this. So if you're a lawyer and you want referrals back, you gotta listen to this because we are talking to you, okay? The first thing people need to realize is the way you give referrals is the way you're going to receive referrals, okay?

I'm gonna say that again. The way you send referrals out is the way referrals are gonna be sent back to you. So if you are the type of person that throws out exactly what Nikki G just described, the email, the blind email referral, if you're that person, you're gonna get really crappy blind email referrals back.

And you don't get to complain ever because the way you give is the way you will receive. So if you're the person that goes, hey Dave, I wanted to introduce you to Joe Smith. He's a business coach and he's in Idaho and he coaches lawyers and because you guys both work with lawyers, I think it would be great for you to talk to each other.

No, I don't wanna talk to somebody who's my competition. Now, I know what you're thinking. Oh Dave, it's competition and you guys can work together to form a relationship and you can work with your complimentary strengths.

You know how that's worked out for me in my career? Really, really badly because I pass the client over to that person for their strengths and then they steal the client from me. So I don't want your crappy blind email referrals.

Here's what you need to do. I met a lawyer coach. I know Dave Lorenzo and although I think he's a lawyer coach, he's not, but I think he's a lawyer coach.

Let me call Dave Lorenzo and see if this is a good connection for him. Takes 45 seconds. I answer the phone.

Dave, I met this guy. He coaches lawyers. Do you wanna meet him?

No, thank you for thinking of me. I really appreciate it but if you introduce me to that person, I will have to take an hour out of my day and meet with them because I don't wanna make you look bad. I really appreciate you thinking of me.

Please don't make that introduction. Keep me in mind for any other introductions in the future and by the way, how can I help you? That's the way that call would go.

Instead, you send me that blind email referral and you know what I'm thinking? How quickly can I get my hands around your freaking neck to choke you because you're wasting my time talking to this idiot who I'm never gonna do business with. So blind email referrals are terrible, terrible, terrible.

You wanna get on my bad list, send me a blind email referral. There are three ways you can pass a referral, all right? Nikki G, you ready for this?

Are you sitting down?

[Speaker 2]
I'm ready for this, I'm ready for this. Like I said, this is important.

[Speaker 1]
Here are the three ways you can pass a referral. The first is that really crappy way I just described. Don't do that ever, okay?

If you're gonna do an email connection to someone, call first, make sure it's a good connection. The second way you can pass a referral is you can call the person ahead of time and say, hey Dave, listen, I got this referral for you. Is it a good fit?

I say, yes, it's a perfect fit. You can ask me how I want to receive the referral. And if I say to you, listen, just get us on a phone call and then you can drop off the call and we'll talk, that's how I pass referrals, okay?

I pass a lot of referrals to lawyers. It just so happens that people call me whenever they get in trouble. For example, the other night, and I told this story to Nicola just the other day.

You know, the other night, it's like a Saturday night, it's like 11.30, I'm half asleep, watching TV, the phone rings, and it's a guy who's got a client who's on Miami Beach and he meets two girls from Latvia. It always starts with two girls from Latvia. I'm not sure what's going on with the two girls from Latvia, but they get around and they cause a lot of trouble.

Meets two girls from Latvia, there's a dispute. The dispute winds up in a law enforcement situation and this person, who happens to be a Wall Street guy, gets arrested. I get that call.

So when I get those calls, what I always do is I always reach out on the phone, if I can, with one party on the line, get the other party on the line, and I say, listen, after I check to make sure this is a good referral, listen, I wanna connect you two. I know you two can do business. I'm gonna drop off the call now and you guys can talk and see if you're a good fit.

That's the way I like to receive referrals, so that's the way I give referrals. The third way, which is the best way, is, and if it's a really big matter, I will do this. I'll get the people together for lunch or for an in-person meeting.

I will drag the client in by the ear and I will say, you need to work with Nicola. She's the best. I'm sitting here and I'm not gonna leave until you guys agree to work together.

That's the third way. I only do that with really big matters or where there are really high stakes. For example, in the attorney world, if it's a family law situation, my preference would be if I'm introducing a good friend of mine to a family law attorney, I take everybody to lunch and then after the entree is served, I excuse myself and I leave and I let the two people talk if I think there's gonna be a connection there.

In the business world, you're most likely, in a B2B setting, outside of professional services, it's mostly gonna be the second way where you're connecting people on the phone. The key is, the big money takeaway is, you always check with both parties first because if you don't, you may waste people's time. You may create an incredible, terrible situation like the situation that Nicola described at the beginning.

She's very diplomatic. She soft-pedaled it. This person, as we speak, continues to pester the living crap out of her every freaking day or at least once a week to try and get her to work with him and she can't get him to go away.

So whatever that person did who referred her them, that person didn't do her any favors and I can guarantee she's gonna think twice before she refers business to the person that connected her with this annoying pest. So checking first, always, always, always, requirement in passing referrals, never do the blind email and remember, the way you give is the way you will receive. What do you think, Nikki G, how did I do?

[Speaker 2]
I think you did great. Qualify the referral. Let me repeat, qualify the referral.

You want to make sure you are sending someone a referral that is a good matter for them and that they're open to the connection and the method of which that they would prefer to receive it. Why? Because then they're going to value your relationship even more, they're going to be more thoughtful about referrals that are getting sent to you.

I think referrals all come from a good place. I do, this is why we have relationships with others or we send one another work, but there's a good way to do this. It's much more effective and in the long run, this will help you build your relationships to be stronger.

[Speaker 1]
Yeah, absolutely. Listen, everybody has good intentions, but there are people who have good intentions that drive off cliffs every freaking day. Like intentions don't make business, right?

You need to have good intentions and then you have to have good actions that follow those intentions. So do the right thing, qualify your referrals ahead of time and then make the connection. I would rather see you send me one high quality referral, just one every year compared to 15 where 14 of them waste hours and hours and hours of my time and then there's that one good referral.

You know, to me, that's what this is all about. So let's just close by finishing the story that I started with. Years ago, I had a really good friend who was a business coach, who was kind of similar to what I do.

I'm a consultant, I tell people what to do. Coaches really bring out the best in other people. And she knew that she could work with this particular client but she thought that the client was a better fit for me.

So what did she do? She set up a lunch for the three of us. She introduced me to that client and that client ended up becoming a client who's still a client of mine 17 years later.

She qualified on both sides to make sure we were a good fit but that's a 17 year client relationship that came from somebody doing the right thing upfront, realizing the client was a better fit for me than for her. And in the end, she connected me with someone who has provided me the lifetime value of this relationship for me and my firm is phenomenal. And the person she connected me with is not just a great client, this person's also a phenomenal referral source.

So saying that points out two things. She qualified the referral upfront first. She was selfless and connected me with someone who she could have serviced but she thought I was a better fit.

That gave her great credibility among the two of us. My client has referred her an enormous amount of business over the years and I work with her for free to help her create a revenue stream in her business that has become her main business now. So if you think about it, what she gave up in sending that referral to me was something that ended up being an entire line of business for her for the long term.

All right, Nikki G, take us home, close us out.

[Speaker 2]
Thanks Dave. This is the Inside B.S. Show, I'm Nikki G and he is.

[Speaker 1]
The godfather of growth, Dave Lorenzo.

[Speaker 2]
We'll see you next time.