Insider Secrets to Powerful Leadership Communication | 868
Well, welcome everyone. We got a great show for you today. We're talking to Lynn Franklin and one of the things she's going to help us with.
One of the things she's going to teach us about is she's going to help us with how to have tough conversations. Now those tough conversations could be with your spouse. They could be with a client or like I had to have this morning.
They could be when you've just selected someone else to handle something that another person was expecting to get. That's a terrible conversation. I hate having those.
Lynn's going to help us with that. She's going to talk to us about professional speaking. She'll talk to us a little bit about leadership, but what I want to ask her about first, what I really want to know is what's going on with that beautiful dog that just walked into the room because my two dogs are here asleep at my feet.
So please join me in welcoming Lynn Franklin to the inside BS show. All right, Lynn. Welcome.
Tell us about the dog. Now is that, do I have this right? Is that, was that a COVID puppy? Is that, is that correct? Nope. Nope.
Oh, okay. This, it's a rescue dog. So Simon has been hanging around my office for the last five years.
And uh, and as you can see, sometimes he enjoys my company and sometimes he'd rather go someplace else. So you may see him wander in and out throughout the course of our conversation. I like to think it's not because he's bored with me though.
Tell me, um, tell me about, give me the, give me the funniest story. You can, I'm really putting you on the spot cause we didn't, we didn't rehearse this. Give me the funniest Simon story from when you were with a client.
Cause I've got like a dozen from when my two knuckleheads were wrestling behind me or knocking into me or barking at the mailman. So give me a Simon story from being with a client during COVID when Simon just did something that was off the wall. Well, and you know what he'll do is whenever he hears another dog bark, he needs to believe that he is even louder than that other dog.
And of course there are dogs around my neighborhood and they bark. And so Simon decides that he must be even louder than they. And there are times when he actually likes to jump up into my lap and bark.
And so I have to, yes, I have to ask my clients to, uh, I, so it's, it's the hand over the microphone time and, uh, I let Simon do his thing. I love it. I think that's the best.
We don't edit any of that stuff out. We, I had, uh, I did an interview with Deb Gabor who's a branding expert, uh, about a year ago and her dog is deaf. And she's got a dog and a cat and somebody came to the door.
It was a delivery. It's the middle of COVID, you know, you can't go to the door without putting on a hazmat suit and the dog was making so much noise. The cat was on the couch behind her.
He crawled in between the cushions cause he couldn't stand the dog barking. So that's, let me tell you COVID dogs. The, the dog stories from COVID during a virtual meetings are fantastic.
I can't get enough of them. All right. So Lynn, give us your, give us your background.
Tell us how you came to be an expert on leadership development on communication. Uh, how did, how did this all come about? Well, frankly, it started my first job out of college where I was a residential treatment counselor in a home for a troubled boys and the, I can pin you back to the day that it started. I was the only adult on a unit and there was a boy I'd work with by the name of Fred who'd run away two days before and Fred showed up on the unit.
And in my ripe old age of 22 years, I turned to Fred and I thought, I'm the only adult here. It's my job to tell Fred what to do. So I turned to Fred and I said, Fred, you can't be here.
You have to go to intake. You have to tell them what you've been up to so they can clear you for being in here. And he said, no, I'm going to my room.
It's like, Fred, why are we having this conversation? Just go to intake. No, I'm going to my room. We can do this the easy way or the hard way.
Just go to intake. No, I'm going to my room. So I go to the staff office to call for backup so I can have somebody be with the other boys while I work with Fred to get him an intake and he follows me to the office, zips up in his backpack and pulls out what I still believe to be the world's largest machete.
Oh my, wow. That's crazy. At which point he brings the machete down and cuts the cord on the phone.
My only lifeline to the outside world. And he says, you try to call for help. I'm going to cut you too.
And now that I'm a neuroscience nerd, I understand that at that moment, I lost two thirds of my brain. But in that moment, you could have lost a lot more. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. And so at that moment, the only thing I can think of to do is babble. So I'm standing there saying, but Fred, Fred, I like you and you like me and there, and you don't want to hurt me.
And there's nothing in how there's kids looking at me that says he's agreeing with anything I'm saying. And so I just keep babbling and you don't want to get into the world of hurt. You're going to get into if you hurt me.
At which point I see Fred blink. And later he'll tell me that he started thinking about what his life would be like if he knifed me. That Daniel cottage where we were staying would no longer be his home.
The boys in the hallway wouldn't be his friends anymore. I wouldn't be there to help him. The cops would come and drag his butt off to juvenile hall and they would lock him up.
But all I saw was the blink. And in that moment, I somehow, I knew it was my chance. So I stuck my hand out and I said, Fred, just make it easy on yourself and hand me the knife.
And I was scared to death. He was going to bring that knife down and chop my hand, but I knew I had to keep it out there. I knew I had to show Fred that I thought he was a good kid and give him a chance to act like one.
And I can't tell you how long I stood there sweating through everything I had on until Fred finally handed me the knife and that's become the litmus test for my job. Long as nobody pulls a machete on me, I'm having a good day. Yeah, no kidding.
Wow. What a story. The truth is that the gift that he gave to me that day was an interest in how do you reach unreachable people? And that's what started me on the path that I'm still on today.
All right. So that, so once you've gone through that, having a tough conversation with your boss seems like a day in the park, right? Tell me perspective. Yeah.
So tell me, tell me about how that experience then shaped the work that you did to become who you are today. So you realized that you connected with him somehow and you wanted to replicate that in the business world. Is that, is that, is that the connection we're supposed to make there? Is that what, is that what happened? You know, and, and the truth is that I learned something about myself in this moment, I thought my job as the adult was to tell Fred what to do, but actually my job was to connect with Fred and I knew Fred's story, I knew that his mother was a schizophrenic.
So finally, after he handed me the knife and we sat down and I said to him, you know, what's going on? And he said, you know, he told me about how he went home to, you know, he ran away to go home and be with his mother. And every time he was in the house, she would tell him to get outside. And every time he would be outside, she would tell him to come back inside.
And he said, there ain't nothing I can do to please that woman. And I thought, yeah, here I am, another adult telling you what to do and looking right through you. And so, you know, and so that for me became the lesson of, no, it's not my job to tell people what to do.
It's my job to figure out who they are and connect with them and help them get what they want. In this case, Fred had to pull a knife in order to get me to see and hear him. And I decided that's not what I needed to put anybody else through again, including me.
Man, that's such a huge point. That's such a huge takeaway. So everybody's got their own story and we need to uncover their story and understand their perspective and their story in order to persuade them.
And I, and I truly believe the reason that you have any difficult conversation, no matter what kind it is, is that there's a gap, there's a gap between what you expect and what the other person expects, and I believe it becomes our job to bridge that gap. And we can't do that unless we start by understanding who they are and what their fears are and what they want and the buttons they push on us and the buttons we push on them and to do a deeper level of investigation of who this person is so that we can be there in the moment with them rather than dumping all of our judgments on them. You know, so what you're, what you're saying will make sense to a lot of people if they think about a conversation they had that didn't go well and then reverse engineer that conversation and go back and look at the other person and see what the other person's background and their story was and how it informed their point of view when they came to the conversation.
Because as you were just saying that part of me went back into my, in my mind, into a conversation that I just had today and I'm thinking to myself, had I approached this with the knowledge that I have now of what that person's experience was, I would have taken a different approach. So, you know, that's, that's such a huge takeaway about persuasion. You know, there's, so there, there, there are all these books and I'm a, um, I'm not as much of a neuroscience nerd as you are, but I'm a big persuasion nerd, right? So I'll read Cialdini's books and I'll read all the books on the, uh, everything from the, the heuristics and all the, uh, you know, the subtleties of persuasion.
But really, if you understand the other person's perspective, like what you just demonstrated, I think you're probably three quarters of the way there. Isn't that, isn't that a significant part of it? Yeah, it's truly not paying attention. Well, cause here's the thing.
I think most of us go into difficult conversations and we think in advance what it is that we want to say and the points we want to make, and we are so into, I need to deliver this message that we're not paying attention to whether or not it's a message that has any meaning at all for the other person. And by, as you said, just spending a few minutes thinking about who this person is and knowing what, what buttons they push on us and that we push on them and choosing to be the best version of yourself in that moment throughout this conversation makes all the difference in the world because people can sense your goodwill and they can sense your interest. And I truly believe that most of us wander around feeling unseen and unheard throughout the course of our day.
And if, whether or not we're in a tough situation, whenever somebody sees that we're really paying attention to them and giving them our total attention, boy, they will, they'll be in that conversation with us and they will cut us slack when we make mistakes because we will. And, you know, and they'll feel our goodwill and we can do something better together rather than just bang on each other. All right.
So would you mind, tell us a story, give us a, um, give us an example of a transformation that you've helped someone go through, you know, somebody who may have been an average communicator or maybe below average communicator. Um, and then you help them by sharing, you know, important information like this to improve their communication style. And I want you to do that in just one sec.
First, I want to tell people a little bit about who's bringing our show to us today. And then Lynn's going to get into exactly how you can do what she did or what she was able to do as a result of her. Well, as a result of being at the point of a machete, um, today's show is brought to you by Sendrowski Corporate Advisors.
And since 1983, Sendrowski Corporate Advisors has provided expert client service to a nationwide client base. Now they have offices in Metro Detroit and in Chicago, and their expertise is in tax planning, consulting, family office advisory, dispute advisory, business valuation, litigation support, forensic accounting, and risk management. Look, that's a lot of stuff, but here's what you need to know.
Sendrowski Corporate Advisors is there for you if you have a family office and you're looking to help reduce their tax exposure. They're there for you if you are doing your diligence process in buying a business or you want to sell a business and you want to tighten up the ship before you go to sell, and they're there for you if you're a lawyer and you need litigation support or you have a particularly thorny family law matter and you need good valuation work done. Sendrowski Corporate Advisors is available for you regardless of where you are.
In the United States and all you need to do to reach out to them is to call 1-866-717-1607. That's 1-866-717-1607. Sendrowski Corporate Advisors, they have over 35 years of financial advisory experience, and they are here for you today and looking to help you grow your business and take it into tomorrow.
Our show is also brought to you by My Revenue Roadmap Guide. That's right. If you want a business development system that will help you take your business into the future and you're looking to streamline the approach to business development, all you need to do is go to revenueroadmapguide.com. That's revenueroadmapguide.com. Enter your contact info there, and I will send you for free.
That's right. Absolutely free. I'll send you my Revenue Roadmap Guide.
It's a 28-page business development system that you can use to grow your firm or your professional practice. Okay, Lim. So, we teased our audience a little bit, and you're going to share a story with us about how you helped someone, maybe a professional, maybe an executive, go from average or maybe below average communicator, persuader, into someone who really had influence over the people with whom they came into contact.
So, share that story with us. Okay. So, I was hired by the chairman of a public company because he said the president needs speaker training, and when somebody says to me, somebody needs speaker training, I know it's code for something, then it's my job to figure out what it means, and so in this instance, I did what I always do, which is I do 360 interviews, all the people that the president works with, and interviewed the president, had him take a personality inventory so I understand who he is, and yeah, he needed help with presentation stuff, but the real issue for him was that he wanted to become chairman of this company, and the chairman had told him, you know, it's going to take you about three years to develop the skills to take over, and the president wasn't sure that he was going to be able to stick out three years because the chairman happened to be a real control freak, and so I said to him, here's the one strategy you're going to use in every conversation you have with the chairman.
You know what the chairman's goals are for the company, right, and what his personal goals are, and so every time you have a good idea, you're going to go to the chairman and say, I know you want to accomplish whatever this goal is. I've got an idea on how to get there faster. Are you interested? And who's going to say no to that? Who's going to say no to getting what it is that they want? So he began to do this on a regular basis, and nine months later, the chairman came back to him and said, you know, that three years I told you it was going to take before you could take over, we can cut that in half because you've made enough progress now, and a year and a half, you'll be able to step up as chairman, and all he did was change the way he communicated with the chairman so that the chairman felt that everything was all about him, and all ideas were to help him get what he wanted.
Just a simple technique. Now, that's fantastic, and you know, part of what you're talking about is that recognition that someone is actually interested in what our goals are. Someone is interested in helping us, right, and nobody says no to help.
Nobody says no, well, psychopaths say no to help and assistance, right? Other than that, very few people are going to say no to help, especially when it's in advance of their goals. So, you know, one of the things that sticks out to me about you, Lynn, is this notion of lookers, listeners, and touchers, right? You're so good at encapsulating who people are, what they do, and how to connect with them. Tell us about lookers, listeners, and touchers, and how you came across this concept, and how you use this concept, and maybe we can use this concept.
Well, and part of it becomes, and we were talking about speaking before, part of it becomes knowing the numbers. 75% of the people in the world are visual, 20% are auditory, and 5% are kinesthetic, meaning that the first place you usually go is visual. But if you're noticing that people aren't giving you lots of eye contact, that's a clue that they're probably more auditory, they're the listeners.
Or if the people who are standing close to you, or leaning into the screen, or, you know, who use lots of body movement, those are probably kinesthetic people. So, I look at the body language and then extrapolate from there which of these are they more likely to be. And, you know, and most of the time that gets you most of the way you need to go.
Yeah, those are...that's good. I really like that. Those are some really good cues to use.
Lynn, talk about being a professional speaker. So, you were a president of the National Speakers Association, the Illinois chapter. You've given hundreds of talks throughout your career.
How do you handle the ups and downs, the roller coaster, right, of professional speaking? Because in a normal economy, if you're hot and you're really on point on a specific topic, meeting planners or people who attend events will book you to speak at their event and that sort of thing. If you're a speaker and you're just starting out, or you're having trouble getting traction, what do you do to handle the peaks and valleys in your career as you're trying to get professional speaking engagements? Well, and, of course, the truth that most people don't share with you is there are a whole lot of easier ways to make a living than being a speaker. Yeah, you can say that again.
And so, yeah, and so part of it becomes if you're thinking about...if you're thinking about becoming a speaker, don't quit your day job for starters. Learn as much as you can. And as you mentioned, I'm part of the National Speakers Association.
There are chapters all across the country, and many of them have what they call Speakers Academy programs. So these are for people who are thinking about being speakers or who are young in the speaking profession. I took my own version of this in Illinois, you know, years ago.
And hang out with people who are doing what you want to do and learn from them. Hang out with people who are smarter than me. And that's what keeps me in the association because I can always find people who are doing a better job of something that I want to do.
And fortunately, as an NSA member, I can pick up the phone and call pretty much any other NSA member and they'll return my call because they know I'm serious about this and we've got that connection. So there are local chapters and everything is online now so you can become a chapter member at pretty much any old place. But hang out with people who are doing what you want to do and learn from them.
Yeah, the ups and downs of the speaking business, never been more apparent than it has the last couple of years. I know so many people who had full calendars and then COVID hit and every day they were getting phone calls from people canceling events. Fortunately for most speakers, we have learned to go online and so Zoom programs and hybrid programs and get the message out that way.
And obviously have decent equipment in order to be able to make that happen and practice what it's like to actually look at the camera so people know that you're speaking with them. Oh, and speaking of cameras, here's a good tip for everybody, which is that when you're in a Zoom meeting or any online meeting, these things were not designed for you to connect with other people. So what ends up happening is that your eye naturally wants to go to the image of the person that you're speaking with, which means that when I look at you, Dave, it doesn't look like I'm looking at you, but I'm looking at your image on the screen.
So I say, in order to create connection with people online, call out the elephant in the room. Say to them, when I'm talking, I want you to know that I'm talking directly to you. So I'm going to look at the camera so you know I'm speaking with you.
And when you're speaking, I want to get the full sense of you. So what I will do when you talk is I will look at your image on the screen. And when I do that, if you're looking at me, it looks like I'm not paying attention to you, but I'm actually paying more attention to you because I'm looking at you there.
So I just want to let you know where I'm looking so that you know I'm paying attention to you during the whole time that we're talking. And that's such a relief to the other people in the meeting. And you'll find a lot of times that they will then do the same thing, which makes you feel more connected to them.
No, that's great. Fantastic, fantastic tips about the camera and about Zoom. And now I'm super conscious of the camera.
I'm looking right at the camera so you think I'm looking at you. All right, so tell me a little bit about, let's do a little chicken or the egg here. Were you speaking first and then you developed your consulting business afterwards? Or were you a consultant first and you realized that speaking was a great way to get clients, it was a great way to generate leads? Which came first for you? Yeah, for me, it was actually doing the consulting work first.
There was a point 28 years ago when I was thinking about starting my communication practice because I was at that point working at the world's largest investor relations agency. So it was my job to teach CEOs and CFOs of public companies how to talk to investors and employees and shareholders. And everybody else in the organization had either a journalism background or a numbers background, and I was the generalist.
So whenever anybody needed speaker training, they passed them off to me. And I would do those kinds of programs to teach people how to speak. And what ended up happening is that people started saying to me, well, it was at that point, I decided, do I believe in the business model, which is I get to be too busy to do the work I'm doing, and then I bring other people in to work with me.
And the time that I'm not spending trying to motivate them to do the work I love to do, I'll be in meetings with old guys. And it'll make me a lot of money, but it won't make me happy. And I was trying to figure out, well, what the heck do I do then? And my best friend every year around her birthday goes to see a tarot card reader.
And she said, you should go. And I said, yeah, I'm doing that. Okay, try something new.
And so I remember driving to see this woman and thinking, I'm sure she lets people blather on and on about themselves. And all she has to do is say a couple of common sense things, and people think she's wildly insightful. I'm not saying anything.
I remember getting there, and she had me shuffle this deck of tarot cards. She turned over the first couple of cards. She looked up at me, and she said, you need to change your job.
And a little while later on in the reading, she said, if you don't change your job, the universe will change it for you. And it's always better to choose change rather than have it forced upon you. And I thought, okay, so there's my sign.
And I went out the door at that point as a consultant. And as time went on, ultimately, the whole neuroscience area exploded. And people started talking to me about, you need to train other people on how to speak, and you need to speak yourself.
And I said, well, no, I'm fine helping out other people. No, you have a message you need to share. And that began the transition for me of, yeah, I'm the neuroscience nerd.
I read the boring research. And then I try to figure out, now that I know this, how do I turn it into something that people can use every day? So let me give you one example. Here's the boring research.
Actually, let me ask you a question, Dave. Have you ever been to a big event, and you've met somebody new, and you're chatting along, and probably about two minutes in, and you realize you cannot, for the life of you, remember this person's name? Yeah, every single event I've ever been to. Okay, there you go.
A hundred percent. Here's the neuroscience. Most people introduce themselves right away, right? So guess what? The first seven seconds, research shows, the first seven seconds you meet a new person, your brain is flooded with information.
Your conscious mind can only process about 10 to 50 bits of information per second. And you're being overwhelmed with their hair, their clothes, their smell, the way they talk, the things they're saying. And so your brain is overwhelmed, and that's when you introduce yourself, right? So your brain just throws it out.
And on top of that, names have no inherent meaning in our brains unless we can make a quick association. So if I say to you, my name's Lynn, everybody calls me Blue, and I'm wearing blue. Well, okay, you now have a shortcut.
But if I say, my name's Norma, and you've never met a Norma before in your life, your brain just throws it out. And of course, the truth is, research also shows that our first name's most important word in the language to us. So my brain is conspiring to prevent me from remembering your first name and getting connected with you.
That's the research. So I say, now use the seven second rule, which is never introduce yourself within the first seven seconds of having met a new person. Your brain doesn't have the bandwidth.
So instead, ask a question like, is this the first time you've ever been to this particular event? And let them answer, or make a statement like, boy, is it ever dreary outside, and let them respond. And you'll know, by the time that happens, seven seconds have gone by. Your brain has now calmed down, and you can ask their names.
And I'll say, hi, my name's Lynn Franklin. Forget my last name, I don't care if you remember my last name. I want you to remember my first name.
And so you look me in the eyes and say, hi, Lynn, it's a pleasure to meet you. So Lynn, tell me a little bit about what you do. And so you look me in the eyes, you say my name a couple of times, only my first name, this increases the chances that you will remember my name.
So that when your friend comes over five minutes down the line and expects you to introduce me, you'll actually remember my name and you won't be tap dancing trying to cover up the fact that you've forgotten it. That's an awesome tip. I am, the most awkward moments in my life, and I've had many, have been when people have come over and I go, hmm, yeah.
And when that stuff happens, as it does to all of us, just cop to it and say, I'm so sorry, I'm so bad with names, just I promise I'll remember it this time. And then make that effort, but there's so much stuff going on in your brain, when their name comes out early on in the conversation, there's no way you can remember it. And it's true for everybody else too.
So that's one of the techniques, there's the neuroscience, and there's the hack around it. Perfect, thank you so much. Now, before I let you go, I need to get your, the three points that you share with people about how to tell great stories, right? You've told us a few really good stories, and you've shared, I saw it on YouTube, but I'm sure you've shared it in speaking engagements, and I'm sure you've shared it in writing.
What are your three tips for how to tell a great story? And then I'm gonna have everybody who comes on the show watch these three tips before they come on the show. Okay, first, story needs to be about you. We want to know that the story has meaning for you.
Second, we want to have enough detail so that we can imagine the story. And third, when you do those things, the beauty is that my brain, as I'm telling the story, syncs with your brain. So it's like we're journeying on the story together, and whatever I'm saying in that moment, I'm speaking directly to your emotional brain, which is where you make decisions, which means that your resistance is lower to anything that I will suggest to you because our brains are in sync in that moment.
So tell me a story that's gonna interest me, give me enough details so that I can follow along with it, and my brain is gonna be right there with you. Okay, so for those of you who are listening to this, I'm gonna have you go to a Seinfeld episode where Kramer tells the story about how somebody tries to take over a bus that he's on, and he tells the story in the first person, and he's highly animated, and he's talking about how he's driving the bus, and he's kicking them away. The way he told the story in that setting, and for those of you who are watching on YouTube, I'm gonna try, without doing any copyright infringement, pull in a clip so you can see some of the way that Kramer is animated, but what Lynn gave you, the outline that Lynn gave you is fantastic.
Now, Lynn, one thing I need you to clear up for us, though, how much detail is enough, and how much detail is too much? So I took over driving the bus, and I had to make the next stop, and Jerry looks at Kramer and he goes, you kept making the stops, and Kramer said, well, they kept ringing the bell. That's enough detail, right? But he didn't say, and then the bus driver fell aside, and he had a heart attack, he was clutching his chest. How much detail is enough detail, and how much detail is too much detail? Okay, so know that what ends up happening in people's brains is that their motor cortex lights up when you talk about physical things, their visual cortex lights up when you talk about things that you see, their auditory cortex lights up when you talk about things that you hear, and their sensory cortex lights up when you talk about things they smell.
So make your details about things in those areas, because that gets people's brains more engaged in what you're talking about, as opposed to, and then I said, and then I said, and then I said, no one freaking cares. Give us things that we can latch onto that make us feel like we're there with you, and activate the different parts of our brain that creates connection. Oh, fantastic tips.
Those are so great. Really, really, really good tips. Okay, Lynn, so give us the types of work you do, and then tell us how people can connect with you in order to get you to help them.
Basically, what I do falls into three buckets. Bucket number one is I do one-on-one executive communication coaching, just like that president who will become chairman a year and a half earlier than he expected to. Second bucket is I do workshops for corporations and organizations, usually around some aspect of communication.
So just finished doing a job with a loan syndication department at a large bank who is having a difficult time communicating with other people in the bank who aren't regulated. So how can we bridge that gap? And third bucket is culture communication. So work with the people at the top of organizations so that they can do a better job of communicating about their culture, which encourages other people to live it.
So I say I help them talk the walk so everybody else can. Great. And who is a great referral for you? Because I'm sure some of our colleagues and provisors may watch this or may listen to this.
So describe for us the perfect person to introduce you to, either for one of those things that you just mentioned or for all three. And for me, it's people who want to do a better job of connecting with other people so that they can reach their goals. This can be the person who's in charge of human resources who wants to give other people more skills in their organization.
It could be the person who's in charge of sales who wants to help out their team with better communication skills. It could be the C-suite people who need to do a better job of motivating their teams to work along with them. But if somebody asked me, would I do coaching of a CEO on bullying? And I said, you know, the only way I do that is if he actually wanted to change.
If he just wanted to check off the box saying, yeah, I've done the bullying training. No, I don't want to hang out with people like that. I want people who see the power of communication and know the difference it can make in their lives, personal and professional.
Yeah, you know, that's such a great point because the CEO who's bullying, yeah, he's got communication issues, but there are deep-seated issues probably underneath those that maybe he needs to explore to work on himself or herself, get those straight first, and then figure out how to present himself or herself to the world. Lynn, how about people who are in stressful jobs or people who are undergoing stressful situations? And I'm thinking about myself. I'm thinking about my own frame of reference.
And, you know, so now a lot of people are working from home. So I just had a stressful situation at work, and I'm going to walk through that door over there. And when I walk through that door over there, I go from being, you know, Dave the consultant at work to Dave the dad, right? And our brains are not wired to make that transition.
Can you help people who are in stressful jobs like, you know, a high-pressure, well, everybody's in a stressful job these days, but a high-pressure sales situation. You had a terrible day. You faced a ton of rejection.
Can you give them exercises and things to do so that when they're with people they care about in their life, they don't bring that baggage into their conversations with other people? And that's such an important point. So let me give you the first tip that I do with anybody who's in that situation, which is the most calming breath you can take from a neuroscience perspective. And actually, let's do it together.
It is actually increasing or inhaling by a certain number of beats and exhaling by twice that amount. So what we're going to do together, Dave, is we're going to inhale for three beats and we're going to exhale for six. All right, inhale, 1,001, 1,002, 1,003.
Exhale, 1,001, 1,002, 1,003, 1,004, 1,005, 1,006. Wow, you know, it makes a difference. Yeah, feel your body get calm.
Yeah, it really makes a difference. Those of you who are driving right now, wake up. You're going to go off the road.
Yeah, you don't have to close your eyes when you do it. No, it really does make a difference, the extended exhale. And what's the science behind that? Is that just because we don't get everything out before and we take more shallow breaths when we breathe in? Right, right.
So this actually calms your body down. It makes you mindful, for starters, because the next thing that follows that is, what do I want to create in the next room I'm going to be in? And for most of us, it becomes, I want to have a good conversation with my spouse or with my kids or I want to pet my dog. What's the positive thing that you want to have happen when you go through that doorway into that next room? And by calming your body down and asking yourself that question, you increase the chance that you'll make that happen, as opposed to, I've been having a crappy day and I just barge into the next room and bring my crap with me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, leave that baggage in the other room. All right, Lynn, so give us the ways that people can get in touch with you, website, phone number, email, whatever you want.
Give it to us right now. Okay. Oh, it's about as easy as it gets.
So it's Lynn Franklin, Lynn with an E at the end, l-y-n-n-e-f-r-a-n-k-l-i-n.com or lynn at lynnfranklin.com or my phone number is 847-729-5716. And however you want to reach out, here's my promise, we're going to have a good time talking. Well, I absolutely had the best time talking to you, Lynn Franklin.
Thank you so much. We'll put all that contact information down in the show notes, folks, so you can reach out to Lynn. I really appreciate you joining us today, Lynn.
Thank you very much. It was incredibly informative and I had a good time. You too, thanks.
Oh, it's my pleasure, Lynn. Folks, I want to thank you for listening to us today. Today's show was brought to you by Sandrowski Corporate Advisors.
You know them. They've provided outstanding client service since 1983. Whether you're interested in tax planning, family office advisory, business valuation, or litigation support, Sandrowski Corporate Advisors is the team to call.
Until tomorrow, my name is Dave Lorenzo, and here's hoping that you make a great living and live a great life.