Why should I help you? Why should I help you? That's the subject of today's Insight BS show. Hey now, it's Dave Lorenzo. I'm the Godfather of Growth and today we're talking about your worthiness for receiving a referral.

Now this is not about imposter syndrome or worthiness of you and your self-esteem. That's not today's message. Today's message is about how the world owes us nothing.

People don't owe you referrals. I don't care if you're in a group or an association that is specifically designed to pass referrals back and forth. I am a leader in provisors.

That's a professional networking organization, an organization for professionals and I'm in that organization to develop relationships that will lead to money coming into my company. But nobody in provisors owes me a referral, not the people who are in my group and I certainly don't owe anyone anything either. We earn what we get by delivering value to others.

I'm going to say that again because it's so important. We earn everything we get by delivering value to others. So if you're in business, your business earns a profit from you delivering value.

It's a byproduct of value creation. So if you want someone to help you, you need to deliver value to them first. So there's five key points that I need to make about this subject today.

Number one, nobody owes us anything. People have options. They can work with whomever they want.

If you're a banker, there's thousands of bankers out there that businesses can put their money with. Bankers provide services but the bank that I want to work with is a banker who delivers clients to me. If my banker is not referring me business, if my banker is not referring clients to me, I'm going to put my money where somebody is referring business.

If my CPA is not referring business to me, I'm going to work with another CPA because there's dozens of CPAs out there. My corporate lawyer, if my corporate lawyer isn't introducing me to people who can work with me, I'm going to work with another corporate lawyer. You see where I'm going with this.

You earn your money based on the criteria that other people set. So if you want help from me, you need to find out how you can deliver value to me first, then I'm going to want to deliver value to you. Point number two is that people act out of self-interest.

So if I want referrals from you, I need to give referrals to you. That's the simple fact of the matter and this is something that we experience every day in provisors. I hear people say, oh Dave, I'm not getting anything out of provisors.

Okay, how many referrals are you passing to other people in provisors? If you want to receive referrals, you have to give referrals. So if you're looking to get a referral from Dave Lorenzo, you better have passed him a referral before you ask for anything. And that's point number three.

Demonstrate your value to someone first before you ever ask them for anything. It's just common sense. Demonstrate value first before you ask for anything.

Point number four is follow the rule of three and I'm going to spend a little bit more time on this rule because it's so hard for people to grasp. So hard for people to grasp. Okay, let me give you a case study.

I want to get referrals from my banker and I'm a very small business owner. My deposits into my bank today, this is a hypothetical, my deposits into my bank today, let's say are about 15, $20,000 a month. Okay, $20,000 a month going into a bank account is not a lot of money for a banker.

But I go to the banker and I say, listen, Ms. Banker, I want to develop a relationship with you so I'm going to open a checking account in your bank. The banker says, thank you Dave, that's great. You open the checking account and you deposit $20,000, $30,000.

While you're meeting with the banker, you say to the banker, who's the ideal client for you? And the banker says, the ideal client for me is a lawyer. And the reason lawyers are ideal clients for me is because they need operating accounts for their law firm. They need trust accounts where they put their clients money and they need lines of credit.

Those three things first and foremost make them valuable clients. Plus because they work with a refer me business. So I make a note.

My banker wants to meet lawyers. Then what I do is after I leave the bank the first time, I call two or three lawyers and I say, would you like to meet a great banker? I just moved my accounts to XYZ Bank. I'm working with Ms. Banker and she's fantastic.

Can I introduce you to her? The person says, yes. I call Ms. Banker and I say, I have the exact lawyer that you asked for. This is a corporate lawyer.

I work with him. He's a great guy. He's open to having lunch.

Can the three of us go somewhere and have lunch? She says, yes. The three of us go somewhere. We have lunch.

I've introduced the corporate lawyer to Ms. Banker. Two weeks pass by. I do an email introduction from another lawyer who wants to meet a banker to Ms. Banker.

And I say, I'd love to connect you on Zoom. Would you mind if we set an appointment for a Zoom meeting? Then I sit down with Ms. Banker. I sit down with a lawyer on Zoom.

I introduce the two of them. They talk to each other. They get along great.

Two weeks pass by. It's now seven weeks since I opened the account at the bank. And I do a third introduction, another corporate lawyer.

And I call the banker up again. And I call the corporate lawyer up again. And I say, I'd like to introduce the two of you.

It's a great opportunity for both of you. Would you like to meet on Zoom or in person? They pick where they want to meet. I make that introduction.

So over six weeks, I've introduced this banker now to three different people. That's the minimum, the bare minimum I need to do to demonstrate value to the banker. It's the rule of three.

You give at least three times. You provide value at least three times before you ever ask for anything. Now, the next time I see the banker, if the banker says, thank you so much for those three introductions, I say, it's my pleasure.

You provide an outstanding service. And I know you'd do the same for me. And the banker will say, of course, Dave, I would do the same for you.

And then I say, you know what? I saw that you're on the board with Mr. Big Business Owner. I saw you're on the board of the chamber with Mr. Big Business Owner. Would you be able to call him on the phone if you wanted to? And she says, yeah, absolutely.

And I say, okay, great. I would love to meet Mr. Big Business Owner because I have three things that I can do for him that will increase the value of his business. I promise if you introduce me to Mr. Big Business Owner, it will be a valuable introduction.

She says, of course, Dave, I'd be happy to do it. I ask for that introduction after the first three times of delivering value. And when I ask for the introduction, I give her the reason why I want to meet this person.

Point number five in this process is the specificity of the ask. The specificity of the ask. After delivering value three times, I go to Ms. Banker and I say, I know you know Mr. So-and-so.

I want that introduction. And here's the reason why I want the introduction. Here's the value I can provide to them.

So I've given this person specifics. I know she knows them because they're on the board together. I ask if she'd be comfortable picking up the phone and calling him.

She says yes. I tell her why I want to meet him. Those five points again, number one, remember that nobody owes us anything.

Point number two, remember that people act out of their own self-interest. Point number three, demonstrate value first before ever asking for anything. Rule of three plus, that's point number four, give three times before you ever ask.

When you make your ask, point number five, be specific. This is the Inside BS Show. We're here every day with another episode for you.

We're helping you grow your business, increase the value of your business, and we're helping you make a great living and live a great life. We'll see you tomorrow.